Last week, I finally got a chance to get an appointment with my acupuncturist (stay with me here) and for fun, she had pulled up my complaints and notes from my first visit to her, three years ago.
It was astonishing how much had changed between then and now, how much better I feel, and how many things I have changed in my day-to-day life in an effort to improve my overall wellness.

If you’re been with my for a while, you’ll recall me talking about ‘Tiny Habits’ and the smallest thing you can change in your day to day life turning into a consistent ritual. Well, the tiny habits and commitments I have been making to myself have been paying off!
It required me to focus on small, measurable and consistent changes.

Now, Professionally? I’m a completely different person.
I love big change. Structural change.
“Let’s rework your entire procurement process” change.

But in the past year, I’ve realized I’m sort of an odd duck here. Most people say they want change - they’re excited about it, enthusiastic about it - right up until the moment they actually have to do something differently. Then suddenly it’s,
“Nope. That won’t work for me.”

No explanation.
No “not yet.”
Just the shutdown.

And honestly? We’re all like this somewhere in our lives.
We all have places where we’re open to change… and places where we dig our heels in for absolutely no logical reason. But why is that?

One framework I love is Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies. It explains how you respond to expectations - both your own and those from other people:

Now, imagine that playing out in your personal life:

It explains so much.

For example, in no surprise to anyone who has seen my habit trackers and to do lists, I am an Upholder.
I love structure, lists, routines, and rules I made up for myself.
But I absolutely need my Obliger friends because they remind me to check in with people, and the value of community.
My Questioner friends slow me down in a good way - they ask why I’m changing something and force me to think critically. They get me to see different perspectives and introduce other variables.
And my Rebel friends?
They are the chaos I never knew I needed. They remind me to have fun, break out of patterns, and loosen the grip on my own routines.

Once I understood my tendencies and how they were different from my friends, I was able to appreciate them more and use them to leverage my own personal change.

I put together a small matrix to help you think through this - not in a business sense, but in real life.
Find your tendency in the first column, then look across to see how to work with someone different from you.

It works at home, at work, with friends, or anytime you’re trying to create or manage real change with another person.

Change isn’t one big, heroic leap.
It’s tiny, consistent shifts - made easier when you understand the personality behind the habit.

So before you start beating yourself up for not sticking to something… ask:
Am I trying to change in a way that fits me?

What’s one change you’ve been able to stick to successfully? How do you think you did it?

Let me know!